I just realised that today is the first day of a new month - and marks the start of my sixth week here at Structure House. I'm looking forward to the week ahead - my knees are feeling a lot better as is my spirit. The last week was perhaps the toughest for me - my knees were bothering me so it meant that I had to slow down and listen carefully to my body.
I cut back on some of the cardio classes and worked smart on the strength training classes. It really helped that I had scheduled time with the personal trainer - as he made sure that I worked smart and checked in to see how things were feeling.
Physically - aside from the knees - I felt good. Mentally - it was a bit of a mix. I had a great session with Rebecca on Wednesday - but then on Thursday, stumbled a bit. One of the participants was talking about being "lazy" - and I commented that I thought of myself as being lazy too - which surprised everyone - and they challenged this as they see me as being driven - which is true - but not when it comes to taking care of myself. I keep myself very busy which then makes it OK (yes ...a weak excuse) not to take care of myself. Carol asked me something along the lines of what I would do or what would happen if I was not busy and I couldn't find the words to answer her.
You see, it's questions like that are top on the list of things that I habitually avoid - and as to be expected it continues to play on my mind. It's the one thing that I have managed to avoid dealing with since I got here. Somewhere along the road, I concluded that when I have too much time on my hands I get depressed . So .... I fill up my time with "stuff".
I took some time this morning to reflect on this and can see that I am really good at beating myself up for not being as good or rather as perfect as I envision myself to be. I know now that my expectations are unrealistic and that life is full of imperfection. I have to smile - as it was communicating this same sentiment to my daughter that gave me the impetus to make the decision that led to me coming to Structure House.
Listening to my body, listening to my heart and accepting imperfection in all its glory are the lessons that I'm learning. I'm getting there ...one day at a time!
Nancy, thanks for your suggestions - I will vary my workouts this week - I'm not able to ditch menu selection here - as it would mean no meals. I'm discovering that there is value to planning meals - as it helps to keep me on track. I missed breakfast this morning - so popped out to pick up a toasted bagel with peanut butter and was mortified when I checked the calorie count. Bagels are not problematic - there are some really good ones that are much less calorie then picking one up at one of the chains.
Now ...I need to get into bed as tomorrow is an early start. I signed up for a workshop in the morning so will need to be up and out very early!
Special thanks to Cathryn & the twins for the joke ... it was just what I needed today and want to share it with everyone :-)
Q. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A. A buccanneer
OK ..so it may not appeal to all ...but it tickled my funny bone. It reminded me of the jokes we used to get in my Gr. 10 English lit class!
Love & Hugs to all,
Norma
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