It's September - time for new beginnings.

Well - here it is September already - and although I have now left the company - it all seems a little surreal. The first part of my dance has been incredible - I continue to learn, explore and try on new moves - determining which ones fit and tossing those that don't.

I thought the decision to tender my resignation would be a challenge -it was ....but I had not anticipated the emotions that would surface as the month progressed. Although I knew within my heart that it was time for me to leave .... twelve and a half years is a long time and for me, it marked the end of an era. Yes, I will miss many of the people that I've gotten to know over the years - but I will also miss the routine - the security of a monthly paycheck and all the benefits that full time employment provides - and as strange as it may seem - I will also miss the work. I won't miss the politics or the many layers of management that a single decision has to flow through!

If I had to draw an analogy for what the process has been like ...I would say it's akin to saying good bye to a well worn pair of blue jeans, a favorite sweater or pair of shoes - you know - the ones that may be a bit frayed around the edges, certain spots may have thinned, but they feel soft to touch and carry so many memories that to toss them away seems almost criminal. You know it's time to let go - but you opt to hold onto them for just a little longer -after all there is still some life in them ( a patch or a stitch here or there will do the trick) - and before you know it - a year has passed and you find yourself looking at them again - contemplating whether this will be the year that you let them go. Although the new pair don't feel the same as the old pair - you realise that it's OK - and before long the new pair become your favorites ...and the journey begins again.

Letting go of the comfort of the known and embracing the unknown is daunting. Although I had given advanced notice of my intent to resign - writing the actual formal resignation and submitting it was intimidating. I contemplated the words, the tone and how to submit it. Once it was done, it felt good, but shortly after I pushed the send button it was as if a cloud passed over me.

It was as if all of my fears found their individual voices and started sounding off about what I had done. I dismissed them and opted to spend the afternoon with friends. I announced to my friends and family that the deed was done and received many congratulatory notes. Some asked if it felt like a huge weight had lifted - as I write - I'm not sure if I ever really answered them fully. I may have deflected the question with something that felt true - but am fairly sure that I did not feel lighter - and the scale actually reflected this.

As much as I thought that I was ready for the change - less then 24-hours passed before I had cause to question my decision. In fact, there were lots of times when I wanted to reverse my decision - and each time I contemplated it - something would happen or be said that only served to confirm that the decision to leave is the right one.

So, I move - I am moving forward with my goal to get accredited by the ICF as well as Diploma in coaching. I've booked my spot on the courses, flights and hotels - and am ready. I returned to Structure House for the first two weeks of September - I decided that it was important that I not be to accessible to the office - and that it was important for me to take this time to refocus on shedding the excess weight and nurturing me.

Returning to SH has been great - a few of those that were here when I first arrived in May also returned to mark the end of a friend's stay here. It has been wonderful to catch up and spend time with everyone again. I have also enjoyed getting back into the gym with my personal trainer Randy and reconnecting with some very special people here. One of the highlights has been attending NIA classes - I have been doing the DVD's ...but it's just not the same as the class. Now ...if only I could figure a way to transport all of my favorite people and classes with me!

The first week here passed quickly - and I have no doubt that my second week will pass just as quickly! There is much that I want to squeeze into this time here in North Carolina. In addition to working out and eating healthy - I also want to work on my website for Clarus Bermuda (oh...that's the name I chose for my business). I need to get organized - I've been tossing things around in my head but had been holding off until I left XL. So ...now that I have left - it's time to get moving! After all - I'm self employed now ...and need to ensure that I have a regular source of income coming in!

My dance continues :-) I'm still learning the steps - but am enjoying the process!

Thanks for your continued support!

Much love,

Norma