Woohoo!!! - Target Goal # 1 - Completed on 5th December 2008

It's amazing! I have been hovering around my first target goal for the last week or so .... in fact I was less than half a pound a way ... and instead of steamrolling towards the finished - - - I found myself rolling in the opposite direction. After a day or two of craving all things unhealthy ... I made myself - STOP - and take some time to explore this desire to sabotage my efforts.

Actually recognising and acknowledging that this was something that I was doing was not exactly a comfortable place to visit. However, instead of beating myself up about it ... I chose to embrace this knowledge as evidence of the success that I have achieved to date. In the past ... it would have taken me months, well actually years - before I was brave enough to stop and explore what I was doing ....and .... WOW ...look at how far I've gotten ...that within 48 hours - I'm taking action!

In my exploration of the "why" I became aware of a pattern I have of avoiding closure or completing things. I know that I am great at starting things - and really enjoy digging in and getting into the thick of things ...but as the end date draws closer, I find myself slowing down and creating other "stuff" that all serve to clutter up the path to successfully achieve the target that I have set for myself.

Never one to turn away from a challenge - I challenged myself to explore what it was I was afraid of - and asked myself - how does not completing or delaying the completion of a goal / task serve me?

Well ...by not completing or delaying the completion of a goal - I reinforce that part of me that is afraid of success ... yes, that's right ... S U C C E S S. It's seems that while many may be afraid to fail ...I Norma A Nielsen am afraid of success, primarily because with success - it sets a bar a little higher ...and means that I have to reach for something else...and the cycle continues. By delaying success .... it gives me a little bit of wiggle room to figure what that next step is going to be - it also feeds into a familiar place of self doubt and whether or not I am worthy of success.
Not completing the task - lends itself to failure ...which lil miss self doubt / unworthiness just laps up!

Does it serve me? Yes it does - is it in my best interest to wallow in that space - No, not really. So ... armed with this new found knowledge ....I took a breath, took a step ...and what do you know ....??? Not only did I hit my target goal .... I surpassed it! It feels great - and I'm armed and ready for the next 50!

As you know the first 50 went to Structure House...rather than gift the next 50 to them - I decided to gift it towards offsetting the current economic crisis. I figured that if anything could use a bit of fat ...it's the world economy! :-)

Thanks for all of your support!

Much love,

Norma